My husband and I hadn't had sex in a year
Disclaimer: the client was comfortable sharing her story for the purpose of encouraging others in a similar position to seek help
When we started out nine years ago, we were all over each other. Nine years later, we barely saw eye to eye. I was about to give it all up, to walk away from the man I loved and to start over in a different city.
The excuses
It started out with the excuses. Whenever I approached him under the covers, he moaned that he was too tired. Or that he’d had a long day. Or that he had to get up early and needed to sleep.
I didn’t pay it much attention the first few weeks. I just figured he really was tired because he had been working overtime to save up for a new house. But then the kissing stopped and we were down to bare bones: a single peck on the cheek before leaving the house for work.
The marriage counsellor
When I could no longer take it after three months, I cornered him in the kitchen after work. “We need to talk,” I said. He tried to shake me off, but I was adamant.
“Are you having an affair?” I asked forthwith, not caring for the pleasantries. He refused, almost too quickly, and pushed passed me to the bedroom.
That night, for the first time since our relationship began, we slept in separate rooms.
And then he stopped coming home. He insisted that they were ‘business trips’ and he’d leave for days at a time. Sometimes weeks. Four months in, I could no longer take it. I told him that I wanted to see a marriage counsellor and that he had to come with me.
We went for a few sessions, but nothing improved. He’d put up a game face for the counsellor, on whom he had a crush, and then would resume his stony silence in the bedroom.
My friend told me about Alka
By this point, I had officially given up. I’d even met another guy on a dating app, but we’d only kissed. A part of me was still willing to give my marriage a try, I mean I did love the guy to bits.
And then one day, one year since my husband and I had stopped having sex, a friend of mine called me up for lunch. We hadn’t seen one another in ages, mostly because she was also going through something at home, but when I saw her, I noticed something different about her.
Her posture had changed, it seemed as though she had been working out, and there was a smile on her face.
We caught up on everything that was happening. I noticed that everything I said was negative, but when she spoke about her life, every sentence exuded with confidence and assertiveness.
She’d changed jobs to one she really wanted. She had started going to the gym and had reconnected with her husband (we got married around the same time).
When I asked her what she had done, she showed me Alka’s website on her phone.
“Call her,” she said as we settled the bill and prepared to leave, “you won’t regret it.”
The session
It took me a while to call Alka for a consultation, but when I finally did, I wished that I had done it ages ago. We hit it off immediately, she totally empathized with what I was going through, and didn’t judge me at all. I felt so comfortable talking to her, and opened up and she said she could help me.
I booked myself in for a session and all I could say was: WOW!
Up until then, I’d seen another therapist, tried reiki, even enrolled in a yoga class, but nothing seemed to work, but with Alka, I could feel the results from day one.
My body seemed to be clinging onto an event where I felt taken for granted when I was around ten. I had never given it much thought, but when Alka asked my body, that’s what came up. I didn’t have to think too much about it, it just popped up into my mind, and Alka cleared it immediately.
Full circle
Even though we still weren’t having sex, and he was most likely having an affair, I wasn’t feeling beat down at all. Inspired by my friend, I joined the gym, started feeling more energized and even got a promotion at work.
One evening, a few weeks after my session with Alka, my husband saw me getting changed. He doubled back and looked me head to toe. “You look…good…” he said. I deliberately left my top off and watched as he advanced on me.
It was the best sex we’d ever had. “You’ve changed,” he said as I lay on his chest.
“You have no idea,” was my response.
Continuing to work with Alka
I’ve now had six sessions with Alka, and each one has unlocked something else in me. I’ve begun to see myself in a different light, and things at home have never been better.
My husband and I are having regular sex again, and he’s even agreed to having a consultation with Alka to see how she can help him overcome some of his own problems.
My advice? Never give up, and give Alka a shout. She’s well worth your while.
